|
Gobbledygook
Wordy and generally unintelligible jargon (Webster's New Encyclopedic Dictionary)
Language characterized by circumlocution and jargon, usually hard to understand (Free Online Dictionary)
Gibberish
Pretentious or needlessly obscure language (Merriam Webster OnLine)
Meaningless or unintelligible talk or writing (Dictionary.com)
Jargon
Confused, unintelligible language (Webster's New Encyclopedic Dictionary)
Obscure and often pretentious language (Merriam Webster OnLine)
|
| |
| |
|
Entries
| These entries were received at GobbledygookAwards.com. Click the Entry Form tab to submit
your entry.
To see the winners from last year, click here.
|
| |
| Title | Title: KIMZUDPosition Summary:, 11/1/2011 |
| Website URL | URL of entry |
| Entry | A qualified Business Process Analyst (BPA) serves a role within the department of Business Process Management (BPM) by being responsible for assessing and documenting current workflows, developing streamlined alternatives and monitoring implemented process solutions to support front line operations. The BPA is a collaborative liaison between various stakeholder departments such as academics, student operations, admissions, finance, marketing, business technology services and compliance to develop fluid processes that are mutually accepted. The BPA role will be the point person to engage line associates within functional areas to accurately articulate their work stream noting any policies which affect action, technical platforms which are utilized to complete the work, and understand the standard operating procedures that have been documented. The BPA will then work with Business Process Management and line management to evaluate current practices' effectiveness, efficiency, and impact to potentially outline alternatives if opportunities exist. This role will work closely with other support groups such as policy and implementation and learning and development to coordinate cross-department process and procedural efforts to ensure policies are properly implemented. A BPA is expected to proactively engage business divisions that may be affected by another department's initiative to reconcile conflicts. Once new processes are incorporated, the BPA provides Business Process Management supportive data to quantify efficiencies gained demonstrating value added. When technical solutions are desired to supplement existing or preferred processes the BPA will propose business cases or create enhancement user stories highlighting the scope of business need and related benefits therein. Essential Job Duties: * Interview and shadow line operations associates across the various operational channels to document existing processes that facilitate the student life cycle * Determine where/how processes are supported by technology and the standard operating procedures and policies that guide the work stream * Articulate and catalogue subject matter experts, process owners and stakeholders so any interested party within the organization can reference the artifacts * Establish and publicize operational definitions of relevant terms and roles * Assist BPM management in modeling current practices to highlight significant risks and impacts * Support BPM management by identifying, conceptualizing, and documenting streamlined cross departmental processes and automation opportunities * Follow BPM department templates, style guides, tool kits, and accepted process analysis disciplines when engaging stakeholders * Lead localized and cross departmental initiatives that center around process improvement * Provide BPM management data associated with quality and effectiveness of services provided to students and associates as well as work stream costs and revenue impacts as a baseline for improvement * Monitor implemented processes to ensure users have incorporated revised structures * Assess deployed processes to ensure projected value is realized; modify as necessary Additional Job Duties (include but are not limited to): * Broker agreements between affected parties of the process so all stakeholders adopt the revised structure * Elicit high level user stories and use cases that address operational gaps requiring technical solutions * Propose standardized operating procedures that provide optimized, scalable solutions * Support storage of all processes within an accessible location for stakeholders and technology teams to reference * Serve as an organizational change agent to reconcile the competing interests of department objectives * Coordinate training efforts to convey emerging processes to end users * Build service oriented relationships across the organization Core Competencies: * Commitment to Mission: Aligns with the Core Values of Integrity, Ethics, and Service through behaviors that demonstrate a positive commitment to the customer and the organization. * Communication: Aligns with the Core Values of Service through oral and written communication skills and internal/external relationships. * Service: Encompasses the company's core values of service; including service to the organization, customer community. * Personal Planning: Aligns with personal accountability and responsibility. Minimum Requirements: * Bachelors degree in related business/operations field * 6 years related business process analysis, management or reengineering experience * Substantial knowledge of Microsoft Office Suite including Word, Excel and Visio as well as business process mapping tools * Knowledge and demonstrated use of process analysis disciplines such as BPMN, 6 sigma, CLAMBRE, UML * Excellent written and verbal communication skills including facilitation of group discussions * General knowledge of software solutions and data flow * Demonstrated change and conflict management skills * Strong organizational skills * Ability to conceptualize novel processes and production barriers by asking probing questions * Ability to be resourceful and resilient within an environment of constant change * Demonstrated ability to utilize sound logic even in ambiguous situations Preferred Qualifications: * Experience in higher education industry highly preferred * Masters degree preferred * Formal process improvement certifications such as Green/Black Belt |
| Submitted by | Your name |
| | |
| | |
| Title | What's It All About?, 9/21/2011 |
| Website URL | http://www.benzinga.com/pressreleases/11/07/p1798332/hawkeye-channel-unveils-new-approach-to-channel-management/... |
| Entry | I'm just not sure what this is. Software perhaps, but it is not really clear. Whatever it is, it "underscores (the company's) dedication to delivering incremental channel ROI..." I'm happy to report that it is a "new paradigm" and definitely a "solution" (mentioned at least eight times). Now if it were only clearer what the problem is. |
| Submitted by | Nancy Nelson |
| | |
| | |
| Title | Cloudy comment, 8/19/2011 |
| Website URL | http://www.betanews.com/joewilcox/article/Spending-on-public-IT-cloud-computing-will-more-than-triple-by-2015/1308588249/... |
| Entry | "Cloud services are interconnected with and accelerated by other disruptive technologies, including mobile devices, wireless networks, big data analytics, and social networking," Frank Gens, IDC chief analyst, says in a statement. "Together, these technologies are merging into the industry's third major platform for long-term growth. As during the mainframe and PC eras, the new platform promises to radically expand the users and uses of information technology, leading to a wide and entirely new variety of intelligent industry solutions." As Joe Wilcox, the writer of the article, notes: "Why can't these analysts speak something other than gobbledegook? What he could have said: IT organizations will offer employees access to data and tools anytime, anywhere and on any device. It's the post-PC era, folks, where the new applications stack is cloud-connected mobile devices. That will be done both through public- and privately-hosted cloud services." Definitely like Joe's version better. |
| Submitted by | Susan Monroe |
| | |
| | |
| Title | Alan Greenspan enlightens Congress, 7/15/2011 |
| Website URL | http://books.google.com/books?id=U7gsT9ZJ5LwC&pg=PA108&lpg=PA108&dq=/... |
| Entry | It is a tricky problem to find the particular calibration in timing that would be appropriate to stem the acceleration in risk premiums created by falling incomes without prematurely aborting the decline in the inflation-generated risk premiums. |
| Submitted by | Mary P. Jones |
| | |
| | |
| Title | Family love (academic report), 6/30/2011 |
| Website URL | http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/83/4/A66-a/... |
| Entry | "An altruistic utility function promotes intertemporal efficiency." What? |
| Submitted by | Colette Diharce |
| | |
| | |
| Title | An Enhanced Deterrent, 6/7/2011 |
| Website URL | http://www.skepticfiles.org/silly/quayle.htm/... |
| Entry | Why wouldn't an enhanced deterrent, a more stable peace, a better prospect to denying the ones who enter conflict in the first place to have a reduction of offensive systems and an introduction to defensive capability? |
| Submitted by | Richard Sampson |
| | |
| | |
If you have any questions or comments about this website, please e-mail the webmaster |
|
